Did you wait to establish a career before you decided to have your first child? Or do you feel like time is running out and it is now or never? Or maybe you have children and they are growing up too fast and you want to have another baby because you are feeling the pull of motherhood yet again? It was then I realized I was a woman over 40 wanting to have a baby.
Yes, I did desire to have another baby at that time. My current children were in high school and I thought if I am going to have another child it should be now. I had friends that were still having babies so I would have had plenty of company. I knew my husband didn’t mind or did he? Well, at that time it really would not have mattered. I would have just surprised him and said, “Guess what, you are having a baby”. He would have loved it. I think…hehehe.
Well, for me the feeling past but for some other women over 40 wanting a baby it may not, especially if this would be the first child. There are some celebrity moms that waited until their 40’s to have their first child for various reasons. But, their case is different. They have nannies and all types of paid help. The question is would they still have had the child? Probably so, because when you have the desire to have a child you are willing to go the extra mile.
Is it extreme to have a child at 40? There are some points that must be considered. The three most important points for me were: health, stability and family support.
Health: it is important to take care of your health if you are going to get pregnant at this time in your life. Your pregnancy could potentially be at risk because you are over 30. The potential chance of contracting high blood pressure or gestational diabetes during this pregnancy is high. If you are menopausal, this could increase your chances for getting pregnant. You must understand that you may have to take maternity leave early because of the health risk to you and your baby at this age.
Stability: If you have waited this long to have your first baby, there is a good chance that you are stable financially. The choice to stay home longer may also be available to you at this time or the choice to switch careers or start a home business could be likely for you to spend more time with your new baby.
Family Support: At this point in your life you may have all types of family support from retirement individuals to assist in caring for the new baby. If it is your choice to return to work immediately after giving birth retired family members may be available for extended child care. Older children are also an asset when you are having a new baby to assist with feedings, diaper changes and the like. However on the other hand, you may not have the family support. If this is the case, be prepared for the demands of motherhood and reach out to friends when needed.
For me, the desire to have another baby slowly diminished because I began to enjoy my then high school children that were about to graduate and begin college. I realized at that time I was just having a mid-life crisis of losing my identity as a mom and it was time to move on to another chapter in my life. Well, and also because I had a family member that just had a baby and I could play with the new addition in the family to satisfy my baby need. To my surprise the baby pull slowly went away.